Thank you for your sharing. I lost my husband in March I too have a hard time describing myself as a widow.
I know my faith has kept me going and I see many ways God has a plan for my future. With the anniversary coming I would love any suggestions for ways to commemorate the day of his death. My husband was 55 and I was It is still hard, but not as hard as it was. Thank you for sharing.
I was widowed 4 yrs. I was 67yrs. I still have good days and bad. But, my faith has kept me strong and determined to go on with life putting God first and then my family. Life is not boring and certainly has become a new adventure in my relationship with Jesus as I seek new ways to serve Him. God bless. I have been a widow of two years……your words were balm to my soul….. I made copy and will pass it on to other widows and to friends to help them understand…..
I do go on….. Blessings to you! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Copyright - Blessed is She. Unit 27 Tempe, AZ All Rights Reserved. Contact us. The Reality of Widowhood For myself, as a widow, to not identify as such seems to negate a large part of my life and to erase a big part of who I am. Christ is the Consolation At the same time, there is also comfort. Revelation reads: …he will wipe every tear from their eyes.
Being Comforted in Widowhood My personal faith has always been heavy on activism and intensity. Name First. Share 4. On February 15, You Might Also Like Prayer Pledge Day 16 January 16, Reply Mardalena February 15, at pm I have been a widow since oct Reply Stella February 15, at pm My husband passed away two years ago. Reply Pat Mcardle February 16, at pm Thank you for posting this. Reply Denise February 16, at pm This was a very interesting read. Reply Kerry February 20, at am Thank you for your sharing.
But far be it, that he be so minded, who is sound minded. Wherefore let us seek that He may give, what He bids us that we have. For to this end He bids us have this, which as yet we have not, to admonish as what to seek; and that when we shall have found the power to do what He has bidden, we may understand, of this also, whence we have received it; lest, being puffed and lifted up by the spirit of this world, we know not what things have been given unto us of God.
Wherefore the free choice of the human will we by no means destroy, when the Grace of God , by which the free choice itself is helped, we deny not with ungrateful pride , but rather set forth with grateful piety. For it is ours to will: but the will itself is both admonished that it may arise, and healed, that it may have power; and enlarged, that it may receive; and filled, that it may have.
For were not we to will, certainly neither should we receive the things that are given, nor should we have. For who would have continence, among the rest of the gifts of God to speak of this rather, of which I am speaking to you, who, I say, would have continence, unless willing? Forasmuch as also no one would receive unless willing. But if you ask, Whose gift it is, that it can be by our will received and had? Listen to Scripture; yea, rather, because you know, recollect what you have read, Whereas I knew , says he, that no one can be continent, unless God give it, and this itself was of wisdom, to know whose gift it was.
Great are these two gifts, wisdom and continence; wisdom, forsooth, whereby we are formed in the knowledge of God ; but continence, whereby we are not conformed unto this world.
But God bids us that we be both wise and continent, without which goods we cannot be just and perfect. But let us pray that He give what He bids, by helping and inspiring, Who has admonished us what to will by commanding and calling. Whatsoever of this He has given, let us pray that He preserve; but what He has not given as yet, let us pray that He supply; yet let us pray and give thanks for what we have received; and for what we have not yet received, from the very fact that we are not ungrateful for what we have received, let us trust that we shall receive it.
For He, Who has given power unto the faithful who are married to contain from adulteries and fornications, Himself has given unto holy virgins and widows to contain from all sexual intercourse; in the case of which virtue now the term inviolate chastity or continence is properly used. Or is it haply that from Him indeed we have received continence, but from ourselves have wisdom?
What then is it that the Apostle James says, But if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God , Who gives unto all liberally, and upbraids not, and it shall be given unto him. But on this question, already in other little works of ours, so far as the Lord has helped us, we have said many things; and at other times, so far as through Him we shall be able, when opportunity is given, we will speak.
Now it has been my wish on this account to say something on this subject, by reason of certain of our brethren most friendly and dear to us, and without willful guilt indeed entangled in this error , but yet entangled; who think, that, when they exhort any to righteousness and piety , their exhortation will not have force, unless the whole of that, wherein they would work upon man that man should work, they set in the power of man , not helped by the grace of God , but put forth by the alone choice of the free will ; as though there can be free will to perform a good work, unless set free by the gift of God!
And they mark not that this very thing themselves also have by the gift of God , that with such power they exhort, as to excite the dull wills of men to enter upon a good life, to enkindle the cold, to correct such as are in error , to convert such as are turned aside, to pacify such as are opposed. For thus they are able to succeed in persuading what they would persuade to, or if they work not these things in the wills of men , what is their work?
Wherefore speak they? Let them leave them rather to their own choice. But if in them they work these things, what? I pray , does man, in the will of man , work so great things by speaking, and does God work nothing there by helping? Yea rather, with how great soever power of discourse man may prevail, as that by skill of discussion, and sweetness of speech, he in the will of man implant truth , nourish charity, by teaching remove error , by exhortation remove sloth, Neither he who plants is any thing, nor he who waters, but God Who gives the increase.
For in vain would the workman use all means without, unless the Creator should work secretly within. I hope therefore that this letter of mine by the worthy deed of your Excellence will soon come into the hands of such also; on this account I thought that I ought to say something on this subject. Next that both you yourself, and whatsoever other widows shall read this, or hear it read, may know that you make more advance unto the love and profession of the good of continence by your own prayers than by our exhortations; forasmuch as if it be any help to you that our addresses also are supplied to you, the whole must be assigned to His grace , in Whose Hand, as it is written, are both we and our discourses.
If, therefore, you had not as yet vowed unto God widowed continence, we would assuredly exhort you to vow it; but, in that you have already vowed it, we exhort you to persevere.
But his kidneys were concerning enough that we'd been turned down for life insurance. Forsooth in another place he says of such, For when they have lived in delights in Christ , they wish to marry: having condemnation, in that they have made of none effect their first faith ; that is, they have turned aside their will from the purpose of continence unto marriage. The first name I give myself is a Child of God. He says that the body of the faithful is both members of Christ , and the temple of the Holy Spirit , wherein assuredly the faithful of both sexes are understood. The first month, my days were filled with what I called "widow tasks. The sky started to drizzle and broke into a freezing, sideways rain as we arrived at the top.
And yet I see that I must so speak as to lead those also who had as yet thought of marriage to love it and to seize on it. Therefore let us give ear unto the Apostle, She who is unmarried, says he, is careful about the things of the Lord, to be holy both in body and spirit; but she who is married is careful about the things of the world, how to please her husband.
He says not, is careful about the things of the world, so as not to be holy ; but certainly that that marriage holiness is less, in regard of that portion of cares, which has thought of the pleasure of the world. Whatever, therefore, I of earnest purpose of mind would be expended also on these things whereby she would have to please a husband, the unmarried Christian woman ought in a certain way to gather and bring together unto that earnest purpose whereby she is to please the Lord.
And consider, Whom she pleases, who pleases the Lord; and assuredly she is by so much the more blessed by how much the more she pleases Him; but by how much the more her thoughts are of the things of the world, by so much the less does she please Him. Therefore do ye with all earnest purpose please Him, Who is 'fair of form above the sons of men. For that you please Him, it is by His grace which is shed abroad on His lips.
Please ye Him in that portion of thought also, which would be occupied by the world, in order to please a husband. Please ye Him, Who displeased the world, in order that such as please Him might be set free from the world. For This One, fair of form above the sons of men , men saw on the Cross of the Passion; and He had not form or beauty, but His face cast down, and His posture unseemly. Yet from this unseemliness of your Redeemer flowed the price of your beauty, but of a beauty within, for all the beauty of the King's daughter is within.
By this beauty please ye Him, this beauty order ye with studious care and anxious thought. He loves not dyes of deceits; the Truth delights in things that are true , and He, if you recognize what you have read, is called the Truth. I am, says He, the Way, and the Truth, and the Life.
With true affections and holiest chastity love ye to be loved by such a Husband. Let the inner ear of the virgin also, your holy child, hear these things. I shall see how far she goes before you in the Kingdom of That King: it is another question. Yet you have found, mother and daughter, Him, Whom by beauty of chastity ye ought to please together, having despised, she all, you second, marriage.
Certainly if there were husbands whom you had to please, by this time, perhaps, you would feel ashamed to adorn yourself together with your daughter; now let it not shame you, to set yourselves to do what may adorn you both together; because it is not matter of blame, but of glory , that you be loved both together by That One.
But white and red, feigned and laid on with paints, you would not use, even if you had husbands; not thinking that they were fit persons for you to deceive, or yourselves such as ought to deceive; now therefore That King, Who had longed for the beauty of His Only Spouse, of Whom you are members, do ye with all truth together please, together cleave unto; she with virginal chastity , you with widowed continence, both with spiritual beauty.
In which beauty also her grandmother, and your mother-in-law, who by this time surely has grown old, is beautiful together with you. Forsooth while charity carries the vigor of this beauty into things that are before, length of years causes not in it a wrinkle. You have with you a holy aged woman , both in your house and in Christ , whom to consult concerning perseverance; how you are to fight with this or that temptation , what you are to do, that it may be the more easily overcome; what safeguard you are to take, that it may not easily again lay wait; and if there be any thing of this sort, she teaches you, who is now by time fixed, by love a well-wisher, by natural affection full of cares, by age secure.
Do you specially, do you in such things consult her, who has made trial of what you have made trial of. For your child sings that song, which in the Apocalypse none save virgins can sing.